tired

todae went to sko0l earlie
in the mornin ;
meet bonbon ((:
its reallaye been a loong loong
time since i walked tt path ;
as in from the bus stop
to sko0l earlie in the mornin
n i can still remember vividlaye
the laz time walked thru it.
i dun wanna remember tt.
i dun feel like carin abt it animore.
im exhausted alreadaye.
enuff of all the nonsense.
life ish betta wifout such existence.
n i like it. - i tink ?!

todae juz seem quiet to mie.
maebe cos i was lethargic.
studied a faiir bit le.
bt stil gt loads more.
- 9 history chaps.
- 7.5 science chaps.
- literature
- more practice on maths
i reallaye hope the amount of
effort i`ve put in 4 tis examination
wun disappoint mie n prove mie rong.
* Lord,pls help mie.

seems like everi1 has become
quite distant...
; durin tis period
once its ova,
there isnt much time left.
n i reallaye hope
tis fwenshiip wil continue.
bt of cos its impossible
ppl has to move on wif life.
juz cheriish the laz few daes ;
months r eventuallaye
made up of daes.
so yea. ((:


how i juz wish i hadd
understandin parents like moz ppl haf.
i wud b like so contented.
i dun nd them to understand mie.
i dun nd them to gif mie
all their lurfe n care[they wun b able to]
i dun nd them to pamper mie.
i dun nd them to gif mie wadeva i wan.
i juz dun wan them to kp
constrainin mie ; i noe to them
i will alwaes b under their control
bt tt isnt juz the wae to discipline mie.
i noe wadd im doin.
n i noe m limits.
i juz hate the threats.
i dun like it when euu threatened
mie to nt allow mie to go 4 tis n tt,
if i dun go 4 church.
i mean like STOPP actin like
we r tt kinda of lovey dovey family
in front of ppl.
i hate the pretence.
yy issit so hard to b wadd
it reallaye ish ; n nt wadd it seems like
thins cant b forced out.
especiallaye in a family
everithi shud b natural.
ish nt tt i dun go church.
i go 4 sunday school
yy make mie go 4 service
cos im a teen?!
aint i still a kiddo to euu?!
everitime i ask euu yy,
all euu eva answered was
" the whole family ish goin "
n so i muz go.
yy dun euu sae "its a dae to worshiip God"
or "its betta 4 mie since im old enuff"?!
yy muz euu sae tt.
it juz discourages mie ;
there`s no logic in tt answer
n so cos of tt i shud go.
pls im no longer a 3yr old
hu cant tink 4 myyself.
i dun praise God for the sake
of praisin Him.
was i juz askin to0 much?!
pls juz stopp forcin.
dun tink by takin awae
wadd ish precious to mie
n i haf to b ordered arnd by euu.
euu juz make mie realise
tt materials arent tt
valuable to mie animore.
eg ; myy fone.
i can live wifout it.
n im contented.
cos i dun haf euu buggin
mie where im."go 4 ballet"
wadd time im comin hme.
do myy hw.stardie.
dun use comp.
do tis/dun do tis/go 4 tt
/dun gif mie xcuses/tell tis to hueva...
waddeva.
no worries abt billbombs.
no worries abt bein distracted.
no worries abt ur calls.
at least when im out
i gt no1 to make mie fear
lettin mie do waddeva
i wan wif ease ;
carefree -
n back hme.naggs.threats.
waddeva.wadd kinda a parent
threatens their child.
aRgh tis ish so annoyin.

will the violins be playing? 21:15 ;