i hate this bloody family.

i hate myy life now.it really really really sucks.
i don`t know how i`m going to continue with
this FUCKING life.i hate going home.
i hate this home.i hate this family. @#$%^&*
why can`t i just feel like i`m part of this "happy family"?!
why can people from broken families feel love?!
why can`t i, when i`m from a complete family?!
all i`m asking is a little care, a little love, warmth...
what more can a typical girl ask for?!
i`m not asking for money.i`m not asking for pretence.
i just need what every child would yearn to have.
yet... i can`t get it from you, not a single shiit.

so now who give you any rights to control myy life.
to force me to lead the way you want it to...
what about me?!isn`t this myy bloody life?!
who are you to treat me like your personal slaves.

why take it out on me, when its myy brother`s fault?!
why put all the blame on me?!
cause you can`t bare to scold your son...
like i`m the one who disrespected you.
i`m just the one who you abhor most.
i`m just your punch bagg to vent your bloody anger on.
was i the one who comes home at 1o+ pm every night?!
i come home at 7+ for goodness sake.
do i have a bloody choiice!?you think i like
walking in the dark streets alone, with dim lighted lamps,
and shadows hovering around?!
am i really such an eye sore to you, myy dear parents?!
whatever i do, somehow doesn`t seem to ever please you,
be it good or badd... ><
when will you all just ever bother to understand me.
you accuse me for not communicating with you guys.
i tried, i really did.i talked to you about myy daily stuff.
but have you once taken notice about it?!
sometimes i really just want to tell you about
myy opinions, but i`m afraid you won`t understand.
i wiished you just wouldn`t be so old-fashion.
don`t expect me to adapt to your generation.
like HELLO, wake up from your 197os lala land.
its 2oo6 already?!don`t expect this place to be quiet
and peaceful like some garden...
its advance technology now.how can i move backwards?!
you are suppose to move on with life,
and get used to our generation.our environment.
the education system changes, the music changes,
the fashion changes...like how u and i change
due to the surrounding.what i call music now,
is what olden days people will call noise.
but like kick your ass and wake up.
even grandmama`s likes jay`s song and don`t mind
queueing for ages for autographs.[watch the news]
and you now nt even 5o.you`re complaining about
, what we call music... SHUTT UP.
if you don`t know how to fucking appreciate,
i got nothing to say if you kept quiet.
is it myy fault that music is like this now?!
i really wonder if you ever been through teenager.
i`m so piissed off.i dread coming home seeing your face.
i can`t waiit to go to school and get away from
all of this.sometimes i just really need some1 who`s
able to understand how i feel.
i don`t want to feel this way...
i really do respect you, that`s why i`m afraid
to disappoint you, to defy your orders...
why can`t you just FUCKING understand how i feel.
i have a life too.i`m not some machine to do
all your dirty work.I HATE YOU so much.
i want to run away yet i`m so scared, i really am.
what fucking stupid Ds.discipline BULLSHIIT.
i know clearly what i want in myy life.
i don`t need you to plan ahead for me.
i don`t want to end up so useless like u all...
just like how you ruin this perfect family!!!

GO AWAY!!!

-somebody ripped myy heart out and
leave me there to bleed. is it enough to die?! -




thanks for all who fucking care.

...
...



..

tata people.i don`t feel like continueing.
i want to stand in the raiin,
so no one can see that i`m cryying.

will the violins be playing? 20:42 ;