friends

sometimes i dont know what am i to you all.
?! someone/thing to hear you pour out your
sorrows to?!... am i really so insignificant/worthless.
were you all there when i needed someone?!
no.i went through it mostly alone.
and no one would want to hear my tears drop.
nevertheless, i was lonesome.
i cried myy arse off.knowing no one cared.
hence becoming introvert.
withdrawn from the world.
i loathe it.i really do.
and i had to listen to your tribulations,
and comfort you repeatedless.
do you all really take me for granted.
that all i do is just bother about you all,
and talk like some broken record?!
haven you even been siick of hearing me preach?!
*siighs*


my days go by, with tv, books, music,
arguements, tears, doubts, agony surrounding me.
where were the people i long most,
the family i used to treasure but now hate,
the love ones, myy friends.
they never seem to not abandoned me
at times of crisis.yet when it comes to them,
i had to be there, anytime no matter what
to listen to them.don`t get me wrong,
is not that i`m fussing about them talking
about their problems to me.haiis.
i don`t know.i guess the last resort
is to start communicating with the stuff toys.
or maybe burying myyself in books.
i`m going eccentric more and more each day.
i can`t take it.somehow i wished i didn`t had
ears to hear, mouth to talk.
eyes is enough, to just standing at the side,
seeing things go by, the world changing.
how peaceful it would be if i were to become
vegetable, to be braindead.so that i would
not worry about stupid things causing depression,
as i wouldn`t have a fucking brain to bloody think.
i`ll be like some parasite alwayqs relying on people
to look after me *((: how nice!?

i can`t deny that DEATH definitely has to
be the most fascinating word on this bloody planet.
it`s beautiful...


don`t you dare take me for granted,
cause i`m worth more than
you + your gold + diamonds + treasures of the world.
so SHUTT UP.
who the fuck do you think you are,
to think you can take advantage of me.
fuck off.




i love you.

will the violins be playing? 12:38 ;