cant face you

here i am agaiin stuck on this chaiir.
thou now my legs are alot better.
missed school agaiin.
actually i can walk now,
but i just decided to stay home.
`cause i wasnt to sure if my legs could
last me for the entire day and
also i dont want to see that disappointment
in my dance instructors face or
was it my intention to avoiid from her ramblings.
haiis i dont know now.


perhapps i didnt know what to do
if i saw you.why cant you just understand.
would you be so naiive to think,
i`d be happy?!i feign happy ;
suppress my personal feelings.
so that maybe you`d wont be sad.
seems like when im happy sad angry or anything.
you wouldnt be satisfied at all,
you`d still be that moody.
what else do you want me to do?!
am i not human too?!dont i have emotions?!
is my heart as hard as a rock.
that i wouldnt feel anything towards stuff.
you dont know how it hurts me more
than anything to see you always so upset.
i tried to cheer you up, maybe i made
you feel even worse.what else can i do?!
why are you feeling so melancholic!?
cant you at least talk to me about it,
and i`ll help u share that burden.
what is holding you back?!
you dont know how despair i am,
when you are moody and i dont know
what to do.do you even know how that feels like?!
tell me what have i done
to make you so distress.
how would i know if you dont tell me?!
how would you want to me react then?!
i cant read your complex mind,
thou i wiish i could.
you made me doubt this relationship.
if everything was really for real.
if you meant what you say.
if this was genuine.
if you lied to me.
if you actually got over her.
if you were true to me.
if this are how things are supposed be.
if this were dilemmas people face.
why cant you reassure me?!
why cant you tell me whats on your mind?!

its not about flaws.who doesnt have faults?!
who doesnt make mistakes?!no one is perfect.
why brood over it?!why not try accepting it.
why insist that you`re lonely
when you want to alone?!
you dont know how many times your words
have been so heart throbbing.
you made me feel as thou i was
so insignificant in your life.
`cause whatever i do nothing would gratify you.
like i`m just some small fry,
not worthy to be even notice.
what more appreciate my presence.

i remembered what patrick used to say,
" age/... does not matter, what matters most is love"
why cant you just focus on that?!
unless you have no trust in me at all...
unless you dont.../you never once did...

if not?!

will the violins be playing? 12:47 ;