the fever stays

okaye. pardon me, for the previous incomplete posts. the fever stays, hasnt really subsided, either the thermometer is spoiled or its trying to pity me. it shows on the screen that i`m having normal human being temperature. but my skin doesnt tell lies, does it?! why do i still feel so warm. maybe its not a fair test, as its my own hand; same skin. so it feels warm. but my mama test it. i`m still siick. as siick as a dog. forget about it, some people dont even give a damn. how i wished i`ll continue to be sick, perhaps then, i wont have to go school tomorrow, to prove to you the seriousness of it. so that you`ll show some care and concern. seriously, i dont understand why?! why did you want to start anew/afresh?! when you know you cant be what you used to be?! why make me suffer like this. you know how its hurts so much. you selfish bastard. bloody heartless creature. i really mean when i said those words to you. but do you fucking take note of it. you only care about this fucking status, and not the person who is involve in this. you know really sometimes you should just let go to things you can no longer love. why must you be so self-centered to make me love you so so so so much, when you dont love me like you used to. you bloody liar. all those empty promises. i`ve heard enough of it. i dont know why, but this worthless promises still lays embeded in some corner of my head. it always appears at times i never wished you said it before. you cruel beast. cant even spare this soul of mine, who longs for you, yet knows that letting go is the best solution. why hold on to this when you`re hurting me so much. you think the world resolves around you. SHUT UP.


i dont care if whatever i`ve typed made sense or not. then again i`ll blogg some other time. there seem to be some dancer in my head, twirling twirling twirling...

will the violins be playing? 19:16 ;