liar

it`s just total shiit now. why why?! why must you lie to me!? why do i see you online?! why did you say you were sleeping?! why?! why dont you want to reply me?! why must you always leave me in the lurch?! why must you always leave me alone to find answers?! why is it so difficult to answer me?! why must you always run away?! why must you always avoid?! why cant you just tell me?! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!


thwarted. thwarted. thwarted.

i couldnt hold back those tears. they just kept pouring out, like some running tap. am i really always the last thing you`ll even want to bother about?! why does it always seem as thou it is. why do you always seem so not concerned. why must you be so insensitive all the time. fuck lars. you know it hurts so so so so much.

i tried to ask you nicely. but you didnt even want to reply. guess its obvious that i am the last thing on your mind all the time. and you couldnt even be bothered. it is true that you are losing interest in this relationship, in me. you dont have to delibrately dragg this on. i hate to suffer here in silence.


i think i never want this blogg to be made known. except maybe for von. i gave the same hint as how i gave von, and you couldnt find it. it just shows, how not interested you are, how you`ll only spent 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000001 of your time to care about me. i didnt want to sound sadd, cause i know you wont want to talk to me like that. but tell me, how?! how am i suppose to not be gloomy.


I HATE YOU SO MUCH. you are destroying every single cell in my body. until tears could no longer be produced. until my braincells could no longer function properly. until my emotions could no longer be controlled... this is driving me to insanity. let me just go to hell.

will the violins be playing? 09:57 ;