53oth post

this is like my 53oth entry. i remember, thinking about renewing everything, starting afresh, once i`ve reached the 5ooth post. but in the end, i was caught in the middle of dilemmas and so continued to just keep typing entries over and over again. i never liked my past. i`d want to delete every single happenings of the past. i feel that some things are better not reminded. things that has losed its value. at least now, it isnt as biggie as it used to be then. without a past, there`s this sort of mystery tang. enigmatic as it might seem, it shall never be revealed to the outsiders. kept only for oneself to know. people judge. judged by your looks, your intelligence, your present, your past. but Man has no right to judge, only God has. `cause no one is as flawless as Him, as authorised as Him. hence, people make mistakes, and outsiders dwells on other`s blemish and not theirs. how unfair can the world get. the world never said it was fair in the first place. so how can the very people living on this world assume it`s unfair, when it was never claimed fair...

all the lessons, have tired me to the utmost limit, that i can withstand it no more. i cant agree more with my mama that its clanger to appeal to this school. i loathe the system. the principal. the educators. it`s beyond tolerable. whatever that has made me pull through, has already brought me thus far. it`s another year of intense pressure and admonishment. before you know it`ll be prom night, graduate, results and the next school you go. i`ve spent much contemplation about the future, or maybe not enough thought to it. i definitely want to be a psychiatrist or a psychologist?! something to do with the human mind. going into jc then university, sounds promising, but i doubt my capabilities. even if i got pass o level, and go into some jc, i might not be able to survive jc. mother tongue language is like a conundrum, i cannot imagine myself, studying it. at first, i thought i had no other routes but through jc, as polytechnics didnt offer any course wholely on psychology, but there was one that involves it and is also a good skill which every country would require; nursing. well to cure a patient, you got to understand what the go through first dont you. so it`s best to have hands on practices. therefore, it`s quite a commendable option. at long last, my mama agrees on something with me. so it`s my goal for now.

okaye. my blogg is getting really wordy now. needs to balance with the many many pictures, i guess haha. staring at the comp is making me feel sleepy. zZZzZzzz

will the violins be playing? 21:19 ;