haven i gone through enough of this

i feel so full of shiit. i`m so tired. why has man`s mind have to be so complexed. why cant people just be contented with what they have. why are man so geedy. sometimes it just feels as thou i`m like a abandoned, torn and tattered ragged doll just made for my owners to throw me around. it`s like i`m being toyed by the harsh facts of reality. the feeling of it sucks totally. how would outsiders understand anyway. its just stupid, so stupid. fated. destiny?! what the fuck are they. who believes in such crapp shiit. i dont even want to go to school. i`m like a fool to friends around, that`s not really the main reason for not wanting to go to school. ahhh whatever. the real world just suck. after watching 'so you think you can dance', i cant agree more that the world is totally bullshiit. perhaps i was too blinded by fairytales, happy-endings... just made me feel as if the real world seems like the alien, while fantasies are the truth seemingly. sarah has to got daydreaming, doesnt she. its totally unfair, to eliminate great dancers. i dont understand, why peeps cant appreciate the beauty of an individual dancer. everyone is different and unique in style, so its not faiir, NOT FAIR. facing reality?! what rubbish. bullshit bullshit bullshit. i`m like 'the whole world`s against me'. fucking emo shiit. dont even bother. DONT BOTHER ya get me. what do you understand. you dont fucking, ever ever ever thought of how i felt. like you`re the only one, with feelings, emotions and temper in this world. you selfish idiot. you never once gave more then thoughts for yourself in any situation. you just stopp thinking about other stuffs, other thn how it affects you, how you feel, you you you you you. shutt up. what about me. where am i huhh. never once whizzed pass your thoughts. you always think you`re the one feeling so miserable, that how do i feel. i feel a million gazillion times worse off than you. damn it. it`s always me comforting you, trying my best to explain things to you. have you ever once explain to me?! tried sorting things out with me?! NONONONONO! NEVER. you couldnt be bothered could you. like why should i acclimitised to your feelings, and forget mine. its like i`ve lost every single thang of me. whatever shiit. i`m not even making sense. i`m not in the mood to write an gratuitous entry. so what if you always say sorry, sometimes its not sorry that i want to hear. it`s not big w0ah stuff that i yearn for, that makes me happy. instead its the little stuffs you do or say that you`d never even realised/expect it to make me happy, which actually makes me feel genuine for once. ugh like you care about worthless little things to you that you can offer anytime, that`s so valueless to you.


i just wanted to have a simple walk home with ya, is that so difficult for you to oblige to?! you rather be spending time playing with your friends, or go hoem to sleep. whatever. havent i experienced such stuffs before, why havent i gotten used to it, it`s your fault sarah. you should have known better, than continue such wishful thinkings. monday- free, cant for god-knows what reasons there are. tuesday- gardenia, doubt so. wednesday- town, ya know why, like you care. thursday-nkf, na`ah. friday- dance, you never waited. there goes another week. the end.

will the violins be playing? 21:28 ;